


Survive

by fireflyeskies



Category: Tomb Raider & Related Fandoms, Tomb Raider (Video Game)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-18
Updated: 2013-07-01
Packaged: 2017-12-05 18:06:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/726251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fireflyeskies/pseuds/fireflyeskies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lara survived Yamatai but just how has it affected her exactly? And what adventure might the future hold for Lara and Sam? Lara x Sam</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Survive

**Author's Note:**

> Note - Spoilers for the ending. There is a plan for a longer fic with this as the beginning of it but I'm not sure yet, if planning it works out then this might turn into something a few chapters longer. But somehow I've never managed to write a fic longer than a few thousand words so we'll see.
> 
> This is set just after Lara rescues Sam but before they leave the island (also, I couldn't figure out how they got from their boat on the island to the ship we see taking them home so I took a few liberties with that bit and made up my own explanation).

Oh God it was finally over. Well, almost. They still needed to get off of this island but for now, they were out of that hellish place. What was left of the group had made their way back to the beach again and huddled around the fire to wait for the ship Reyes had hailed on the radio an hour ago.

The group was sadly greatly diminished since their arrival on the island, only Jonah, Reyes and Sam remained in their makeshift camp now. Lara thought of all the people they had lost because of this evil place, and not just Roth but Grim, Alex, Whitman and the rest of the crew from the S.S. Endurance. In time Lara thought she might come to blame herself for their deaths but for now, she was simply grateful for the food placed in front of her by Jonah and the peacefully sleeping form of Sam curled tightly into her side.

She'd been all but attached to Lara at the hip since she'd lifted her into her arms back at the monastery, letting go only briefly to go and change from the tattered white dress Mathias had forced her into. Not that Lara minded much though, after losing Sam more times than she cared to think about in the last few days she was just as reluctant to let her far out of her sight. The danger had passed now of course, but while they were still on this godforsaken island she was taking no chances. There was likely to still be Solarii stragglers around here somewhere, and more than likely they would jump at the chance to avenge their 'father'.

Sam mumbled softly in her sleep rousing Lara from her thoughts. The fire had burned down to a dim glow at some point and Reyes and Jonah were nowhere in sight. Night had settled over the beach since Lara had last looked up and it was beginning to rain lightly, harmless in comparison to the wrathful storms of the day before. Sam muttered again and shifted beside her to sit upright and stretched with a yawn.

"Hey there sleepyhead" said Lara, softly smiling at Sam's sleepy expression and her sleep-tousled hair. She looked really rather adorable, or she did to Lara at least.

"Hey Lara" Sam mumbled and returned to her place wound around Lara's side with her head resting lightly on her shoulder.

There was a silence for a few moments punctuated only by the calmed waves and the dying crackle of the embers before it was broken by the loud rumble of hungry protest from Sam's stomach.

"Hungry?" chuckled Lara as she shifted away from Sam to offer her the rest of the skewered fish Jonah had assured them was 'perfectly edible and almost certainly not poisonous' as he cooked it over the fire. If Reyes and Lara had been slightly less tired and hungry or had they had less faith in Jonah then they might have protested at his hesitant claims. But as it was they were exhausted, starving and Jonah was a brilliant cook after all, he knew his food better than any of them, never yet had he given them reason to doubt.

Sam took the food gratefully and settled herself closer to the dying fire. It was getting towards pitch black night now and the campfire was casting less light by the second. With a smile and a reassurance she wouldn't be far Lara clambered wearily to her feet and set about collecting wood to build up the fire again.

Careful never to let Sam out of her sight Lara allowed her thoughts to turn once more to the slight form huddled over her food and wrapped tightly in Lara's rather worse for wear bomber jacket. She'd protested at first when Lara handed her the coat on her way to change her clothes "Lara you'll be freezing in just a ripped shirt!" But Lara had insisted and without the strength left to argue Sam donned it without further protest. It was only now she was away from the fire's warmth that she was beginning to feel the cold of the night. Just another reason she couldn't wait to be away from this place.

Lara dared not even begin to fully contemplate the things that they had been through and the things they had seen yet. She was instead merely endlessly grateful that both she and Sam were alive to tell the tale afterwards. Even though she knew that not everyone that had arrived to this island on the S.S. Endurance would be leaving it again.

They were both going to bear a lot of bad memories and scars yet, admittedly Lara's would be more physical than Sam's, but they would at least survive. Despite it all she knew that she'd be a much stronger person when she left this island than when she arrived, albeit much dirtier, in need of a shower and more exhausted than she had ever been too. The horrors they had encountered here would remain in memory but ultimately, she hoped, they'd make her better. She was no longer as young and naïve as she had been on the journey here. She had gotten through it all, they both had.

Lara was sure nothing she had ever yet experienced in her life would match up to the all-encompassing terror she felt when she realised Sam had once again gone missing from camp the second time, when she realised what Mathias intended for her and when she heard Sam's screams at the monastery. Yet still, they had come out of it mostly unharmed.

Lara had once before promised to look out for Sam, promised her that she wouldn't let her come to harm on the journey ahead of them. That had been the day they left port on the S.S. Endurance, the first day of their first adventure together. A first adventure that had nearly also been their last. She had broken that promise, over and over again in this cursed place. Privately and with complete conviction as she gazed at the softly smiling profile of her girlfriend Lara made another promise to herself. Never again. Never again would she be so scared she was tied up at the top of that monastery. And this time, Lara swore, she'd make sure of it herself. Either she wouldn't be so foolish as to bring Sam with her to places like this, or she'd teach her everything that she had learned to help her survive Yamatai.

Either way, this time she wouldn't break her promise, not for anything. Throughout any and all adventures that they may undertake in the future, Lara knew she would look after Sam. And she knew that Sam would do the same for her. They would both survive anything and everything.


	2. Recover

The S.S. Deliverance wasn’t a particularly large ship and it certainly paled in comparison to the S.S. Endurance, but right now Sam had never been so glad of another ship in all her life. Besides, the S.S. Endurance was no more than another splintered wreck at the bottom of the ocean now anyway. Just like all the others.

They had received the call over Lara’s radio not long after dawn broke from Captain James of the S.S. Deliverance to let them know he’d brought his vessel as close to the beach as was possible with the shipwrecks blocking the rest of the way. Sometime during the night Sam had finally fallen asleep again after sitting with Lara in mostly silence for hours, Lara unable to sleep yet despite trying.

When she awoke it was to find herself once more curled around Lara’s slightly less bandaged and bloodied side with one arm wrapped around her stomach and Reyes and Jonah already awake and chattering animatedly over the campfire. Or Jonah was at least, Reyes simply looked quietly pleased for the first time in days, likely at the prospect of finally going home to her daughter. From the shadows under her eyes Lara had apparently not slept at all that night and was still wearing that hauntingly blank expression in her eyes as she gazed up at mercifully clear skies.

***

Less than an hour later they were safely huddled together on the deck of the S.S. Deliverance and headed on their way home. Well, headed to England at least, Lara and Sam wouldn’t be too far from their home in London but Reyes would have to fly back to New York to her daughter and Jonah to his sister in Ngapuhi. Nevertheless, they were on their way out of the Dragon’s Triangle and closer to home than they had been in days.

For the first hour of the journey no one spoke to one another, or even really moved. They seemed to be simply content to sit in peaceful quiet and listen to the sounds of the waves and the other crewmen on board, the first humans they’d encountered in days who weren’t crazed cultists or murderers. Then slowly, after a while of adjusting themselves to being safe and dry they one by one began to disperse and think about taking up the Captain’s generous offer of the spare crew quarters to sleep in. A narrow bunk bed wasn’t much but it was paradise and then some compared to hard ground or a wet cave. Reyes was the first to leave to find some sleep and not long later Lara too wandered off to the other end of the deck, still disturbingly silent and leaving Sam with only Jonah left for company.

Lara was clearly preoccupied with something, that much was obvious. It wasn’t all that surprising though, it would seem more out of place if she wasn’t at all bothered by what they had all just been through. Sam just couldn’t work out whether Lara would welcome her company right now though. She was, after all, the whole reason that Lara had been put through that nightmare. It was her that Lara had almost died for while trying to rescue over and over again. If not for her then Lara would never have been in that kind of danger. Maybe she shouldn’t have even come on the expedition in the first place. No, Sam knew really that she never would have been able to cope with knowing that Lara was out there alone in dangerous places like this. No, she’d rather be at Lara’s side no matter what.

“You should go to her” Sam’s head snapped up at Jonah’s words breaking her distant thoughts. Had he been talking? She was so tired she was barely even conscious anymore.

“What?” she said, focusing on him fully. He looked every bit as exhausted as the rest of them, except for Lara of course. But then the blood and dirt and wounds probably weren’t helping her to look less so.

“Lara. You should go to her. I think she could probably use the friendly face right now” he replied with a jerk of his head in the direction Lara left in. “As for me I think I’ll follow Reyes’ example and get some rest. You two should do the same soon. You both need it even more than we do” he said with his ever present friendly smile before leaving for the crew’s quarters below deck.

Maybe he’s right, Sam thought as Jonah left. Getting to her feet she set off around one side of the deck towards where Lara must be. At the very back of the ship, half hidden by the cargo containers piled on board, Lara stood leaning forwards on the guardrail, gazing off into the seas ahead of them. If you looked past the thick layer of blood and grime and the scars littering Lara’s arms and shoulders then Sam could almost imagine that they were still on the S.S. Endurance. She could still imagine that Yamatai had never happened, maybe she could even still convince Lara to turn back from the Dragon’s Triangle. But even without the physical scars, the slump of Lara’s shoulders and the heavy hang of her head spoke of the trials she had faced.

Lara was still seemingly lost to her own thoughts as Sam sidled up behind her and slipped her arms gently around her waist. She startled at the touch but didn’t look back, Lara would know Sam’s touch anywhere.

“Hey you, how are you? Besides the obvious” Sam murmured softly after a few moments.

“I’m fine. Or at least I will be, as soon as we’re home” replied Lara with a heavy sigh as she leant back into the embrace.

“Maybe we should get some rest Lara, it must’ve been days since you slept properly” Sam tightened her grip on Lara’s waist, careful to avoid the inexpertly cauterised wound and moved to rest her chin on one scarred shoulder.

“In a minute” Lara mumbled back and hummed contentedly when Sam nuzzled her nose into the patch of unmarred skin where neck met shoulder. 

The couple enjoyed the uninterrupted calm for a few minutes more before leaving the deck to go in search of the crew quarters and promise of sleep. Reyes and Jonah were already fast asleep, and in Jonah’s case snoring, when Lara and Sam wandered found them. With barely enough energy left to quickly shower and then collapse into bed it wasn’t much longer before they too were soundly asleep. 

***

Hours later Sam awoke from a pleasantly dreamless sleep to the sound of a muffled whimper from the bunk below. She lay motionless for moment, listening for the noise again. All was relatively silent, it must be the middle of the night by now for the ship to be so quiet. Then she heard it again more clearly, a sort of pained grunt.

Sam lightly dropped down from the bunk and turned to kneel beside where Lara lay tangled up in her thin blankets twisting and turning. She reached out to shake gently at one of Lara’s shoulders “Lara sweetie wake up, I’m here” she whispered gently. When Lara didn’t immediately awaken she shook a little harder and Lara jerked quickly up with a sharp gasp.

“Sam! You were gone, I - you were right there and then I was asleep and then – then oh god, Sam you were gone again!” the words came tumbling out in one stricken mess and Lara’s fingers clutched tightly at Sam’s arm. 

“Lara honey it’s okay, I’m here” Sam whispered as she held Lara’s hands just as firmly “I’m here”.

After a moment the confusion and unbridled fear in Lara’s expression dissipated and she sunk back down onto the bed again. She let out the breath she was holding in and slackened her hold on Sam to let her up from her knees on the floor and move to the slight space beside Lara in the bunk.

As Sam struggled to arrange herself in the narrow bed she remembered why it was that they’d chosen to sleep separately in the first place, there wasn’t nearly enough room for two people. Lara shifted to accommodate her though and they ended up with Lara comfortably curled into Sam and her head resting on her shoulder, face half buried in her neck. A position reminiscent of the way Lara had comforted Sam while she slept the previous night on that far behind beach.

“I’m here Lara I promise. I’m not going anywhere” she murmured pressing a kiss to the crown of Lara’s head. A part of Sam had been expecting this. Though she’d admit she rather thought that she would be the one having the nightmares. Seeing Lara so shaken was odd after the strong façade she had put up since leaving the monastery. Even so it wasn’t unexpected, the things Lara must have seen, must have done on that forsaken island. It didn’t bear thinking about. 

They hadn’t yet even begun to discuss such things yet, there simply hadn’t been the time. It was inevitable though, she knew that eventually they would have to tackle that conversation. But not yet. For now Sam simply held her girlfriend close and whispered soft reassurances, her fingers sifting soothingly through her loosened hair.

***

The sound of the waves and the busy crew up top on deck were the first sounds Sam heard when she once again woke aboard the S.S. Deliverance. They were comforting sounds in a way, the sea reminded her she was on her way home and the noises of the ship reminded her that she was not alone.

The complete lack of noise had been one of the most unnerving things about her time locked up at the Japanese palace awaiting Mathias’ ritual. Being kidnapped by the madman while she slept had been terrifying enough to begin with, but the room they locked her in at the palace was even worse. She had been painfully aware of the presence of guards watching over her not feet away outside the door but the palace was silent. Her guards made no noise and there was no ocean nearby to listen out for. She quickly lost track of the time of day and night and how long she had been trapped alone there. Hearing Lara’s voice again over the stolen radio was such a relief, she wasn’t alone after all. Of course Lara would never abandon her.  
Sitting up and glancing around the cabin now she finally noticed that it was empty but for her and Lara was no longer burrowed into the blankets. Well they can’t have gone far, she thought, the ship’s only so big after all.

Quickly she dressed and set off down the narrow corridors of the vessel to seek out her friends’ whereabouts. Before long she heard the sound of Jonah’s laughing voice in the room up ahead and came upon the ship’s small dining hall. True to form Jonah had apparently commandeered the kitchen and seemed entirely back in his comfort zone with frying pan in hand and a grin on his face. Reyes was seated at the counter in front of him alongside two crewmen with MECHANIC emblazoned on their overalls. Typical that Reyes would immediately find the mechanics aboard this ship. Despite her often prickly attitude, when it came to gears and engines she couldn’t be happier.

At one of the tables in the cramped hall sat Lara deep in conversation with Captain James, her notebook and several maps laid out on the tabletop between them. At some time during the morning someone must have taken the time to see to Lara’s wounds for now the thin cuts on her face were stitched and what she could see of her shoulders beneath a clean white t-shirt were bandaged up.

“Breakfast Sam? Although I suppose it’s more like lunch now really” Jonah called out to Sam where she lingered near the doorway and gestured to the clock on the wall. He was right, it was almost one o’ clock, she had managed to sleep the whole morning through.

Lara looked up at Jonah’s words and sent a warm smile her way before turning her attention back to the Captain. Sam dropped down into the free seat on Reyes’ other side at the counter and gratefully accepted the plate of eggs and mug of coffee that Jonah handed to her. They were only eggs and coffee, nothing special, but after surviving on a lost island on nothing but water and fish it was heavenly.

Sam took her time with her breakfast/lunch and chatted away absently with Jonah, listening out for bits of what Lara was saying to Captain James at the same time. She couldn’t make out much of what they were talking about but she caught the odd word here and there, something to do with a disappearance and a forest. Perhaps she was telling him about what had happened on Yamatai.  
Finishing her breakfast Sam grabbed what remained of her coffee and wandered over to the table Lara and the Captain were seated at. They both ceased their conversation when she neared and Lara turned to greet her with a grin.

“Good afternoon lazy. We were beginning to think you’d never wake up” she teased lightly, leaning over to press a lingeringly affectionate kiss to her cheek, regardless of the Captain sat opposite them.

The man, to his credit, didn’t look even the slightest bit perturbed at the display but instead had the grace to look away and busy himself with draining his mug. Captain James was an imposing man to look at, he stood head and shoulders above Sam and uncombed red hair and the even redder bristle of whiskers on his cheeks gave him the look of an old grizzled lion. He reminded her of Roth. When he spoke though it was not with Roth’s hard northern tones it was with a deceptively gentle and humble voice and a kindly smile.

“Good afternoon Miss Nishimura, I hope you slept well?” he said with an easy courteousness, setting the empty mug down and turning back towards the pair.

“Yes, thank you, better than I’ve slept in a while anyhow. And it’s Sam, you can call me Sam” she answered, yawning loudly to prove the point.

“Good to hear Sam. And if we’re on first name terms then you may call me Lyle, you aren’t one of my crew after all” he said still smiling and reaching out one paw of a hand over the table to gently shake her own.

“Lyle here knew my father way back” Lara said gesturing to the Captain.

“Well now, I wouldn’t say I knew him exactly, I merely met the man a few times over the years. Yours isn’t the first expedition crew I’ve had aboard my ship” he said to the surprised look on Sam’s face.

“It’s a small world I suppose” she replied.

“Nah not really, there are few sane captains that’d dare to take their ship and crew anywhere near the Dragon’s Triangle anymore. Makes sense that you’d find someone like me or your father out here, exploring men” Lyle said. The man had a point, of all the captains on the seas the only ones who would stray into such dangerous waters had probably at least heard of the Croft name.  
“Lyle was just telling me about another of my father’s old friends, Irvine Everett Scott, he went missing recently. You might remember him actually” Lara said, recalling the subject she had been so deep in conversation with Lyle about.

“Yes I remember him, you interned on one of his research trips at university didn’t you?” Sam replied, calling up the memory of Lara slaving away over her books with the man, the both of them geeking out over some archaeological matter or other. She’d actually found the man to be quite intimidating when Lara introduced her, a little like Roth had been when she first met him. Perhaps it was just something about all these adventuring, treasure hunting types.

“That’s right, I helped him do his research on the tribes of the Amazon Rainforest. Now he’s disappeared mid-expedition out there” she said worriedly, another archaeologist gone missing on a trip, was there some kind of curse on the field now?

“Oh Scott will be back soon Lara don’t you worry, he’s tough as a Croft that man, and that’s saying something. You made it back didn’t you?” Lyle said, standing and patting Lara’s shoulder in what he might’ve thought was a reassuring gesture but probably just made her shoulders ache in reality.

Lara simply smiled up at him with only the faintest hint of a grimace as he made his way back up the deck and left the two of them finally alone at the table. With the chance to look at her properly now Sam noticed how exhausted Lara still looked, how the smile on her lips didn’t quite reach her dark eyes. She looked like a girl in serious need of a decent rest, not that Lara was ever one for sitting around doing nothing for very long anyway. Sam could only begin to imagine how hard it was going to be to get Lara to just relax for a while once back home.

“Looking forward to getting home yet Sam?” Lara said jolting Sam from her own thoughts on their destination, seemingly reading her mind.

“So, so much. I love desert islands and ancient ruins and all that Lara sweetie really I do, but I love proper food and my own bed just a little bit more you know?” she answered with her very best trying-to-cheer-up-Lara grin, which unfortunately didn’t seem to be particularly effective.

And really, Sam wouldn’t say she was at all shallow but she was rather used to the finer things in life coming from the family she did. Living off of grass and fish and wearing the same clothes for days on end wasn’t sitting too well with her by now. Lara on the other hand seemed born for this life, after all, she’s a Croft.

“So you’ll want to go and see your family I suppose?” Lara said in an oddly strained kind of voice.

“Well at first yes, they might be interested to know that their only daughter almost became the next Sun Queen of the lost kingdom of Yamatai. Not that they’ll believe me. I’m not even sure I’d believe me if I hadn’t been there”

“Of course, yeah, they’ll want to know…” Lara trailed off looking away from Sam and quickly busying her hands with refolding the maps still laid out back into her journal.

“Lara? Honey listen I know you – “

“Sam! Come and back us up here, this guy doesn’t believe that we fought off a legion of samurai!” Reyes interrupted Sam, she and Jonah apparently in the throes of an argument with one of the mechanics.

“One minute!” she called back, turning back to find Lara already getting up and moving to leave.

“Hey don’t worry about it, go on, go tell them about the samurai. I've got some things to sort out anyway” she muttered and smiled tightly before leaving her alone at the table.

Damn. Now she’s upset. Of course she is, Sam was lucky enough to have a family back home waiting for her return while Lara had no one. Sam, Roth and her friends from the S.S. Endurance were the closest thing to a family that Lara had left.

“Sam!”

“I’m coming, I’m coming” she huffed before marching over to set the mechanic right.

***

Later on after persuading two very stubborn and sceptical mechanics that the four of them had in fact battled an army of samurai, and won, Sam went again in search of her still missing girlfriend.  
Predictably enough she found her up on the deck again, holed up behind the stacks of cargo containers and staring out at the ocean, her notebook clutched tight in one hand. Ok Sam, time to apologise.

“Lara?” she called out, chuckling lowly when she jumped at the sudden noise and whirled around faster than was probably wise while standing so close to the guard rails.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you” Sam said ruefully, moving closer to stand beside Lara at the rails. Lara stayed quiet but at least she didn’t seem angry or annoyed by her presence.

“Listen sweetie -” she started as Lara turned to face her fully.

“No it’s okay Sam, you miss your family I get that really I do, I’m the one being selfish. You don’t have to apologise” Lara said cutting across Sam before she could say anything more.

“Well actually I was going to suggest you came with me Lara, I’m sure they’d love to see you too. What with you being my dashing saviour and all that” she laughed, mischievous grin falling back into place and her hands plucking the journal from the other woman’s hands, setting it down on a crate so she could cradle Lara’s roughened palms in her own.

“Oh. Are you sure?” Lara said dumbly, obligingly linking her fingers with Sam’s softer ones.

“Completely sure. I love you remember?” Sam teased with a smirk, grasping Lara’s hands tighter and pulling her in for a kiss. The tension in Lara’s stiff arms and the uncertainty in her gaze finally melted away as she let herself fall wholeheartedly into the kiss and forget everything but Sam, the feel of her arms wrapped her around her waist and her unwavering belief in Lara.


	3. Exorcise

Ah home sweet home. Lara Croft could honestly say she’d never been so glad to see Croft Manor and waiting patiently atop the steps to the front door, Winston. As a child the manor often felt rather more daunting than homely but after spending several hours in a cramped car the sprawling estate was a blissfully welcome sight.

After making it back to England in one piece aboard the S.S. Deliverance Sam had immediately insisted that they stay with her family in London at one of their many estates. Lara wasn't quite as enthusiastic to spend time with Sam’s rich and powerful family but she was loathe to leave Sam’s side. And besides, she hadn’t been ready to return to the manor just yet anyway.

Instead Lara spent several days being constantly questioned and fussed over at the Nishimura’s. Sam’s mother was only in the country for a few days to see her daughter but Mr Nishimura was more than keen to get the whole complete story from Lara and Sam. Ever the journalist. Although, she would rather that the story was reported first by the Nishimura Corporation than anyone else, she could trust Sam and her family at least. The attention was annoying and a little intruding at first, but Lara couldn’t help but get a small degree of satisfaction out of it at the same time. Her story would be heard. The real story.

Sam of course was eager to play up the details a bit, make Lara out to be ten times the brave and dashing hero she really was. After the fourth or fifth pointed glare from Lara at Sam’s ever present video camera, she stuck strictly to the facts for the media. Her parents on the other hand… Sam loved nothing more for their whole stay than recounting Lara’s ‘courageous exploits’ upon the island, and yet still omitting the grisly details about Mathias and the Solarii and their lost friends. 

For all that Sam talked and talked and talked while staying with the Nishimura’s she never once broached any of the serious topics. The ones that Lara knew were still keeping the girl awake at night. She knew of course because they were still keeping Lara awake most nights too. Or ripping her awake from violent dreams on those rare nights when she found rest.

Climbing the stone steps with bags in hand and eyes still drooping closed with sleep the two girls made their way into the grand entrance hall of the manor. At the top of the steps Winston took their bags and Lara thought she could even detect a small smile for the two of them. Inside the manor appeared much the same as it ever had, one of the one things in Lara's life that seemed unchanging and constant. She hadn’t been here in weeks, not since just after finishing uni. Lara had always preferred the small apartment nearer to campus than living in the huge draughty old manor alone with only Winston for company. 

Sam on the other hand was right at home, she was more than familiar with living in big expensive houses. Even the apartment she rented while they were still studying cost more than Lara paid in rent for a whole year. After the time spent with her parents Sam at least seemed almost back to her old self again – laughing and joking and teasing Lara at every opportunity. All except for in the middle of the night when one or both of them awoke sweating and shivering from another nightmare flashback of Mathias and his Solarii. They comforted each other in the dead of the night but come morning no more was ever said of what happened in their dreams.

Even Sam’s attempts to get Lara to just talk about it were proving hopeless against Lara’s insistence that the dreams would eventually fade away and stop. Two weeks after Yamatai and they hadn’t slowed a bit.

The manor was exactly as Lara remembered it, nothing had changed since she’d wandered through these corridors as a child, playing at being an adventurer. Just like dad.

“Would you like these in your room miss Croft? Or shall I ready one of the guest rooms?” Winston indicated Sam’s stack of bags and suitcases. Just why she needed so much luggage wherever she went Lara would never know.

“Oh yes, my room is fine Winston thank you” she replied, trying hard not to laugh at the faintly embarrassed grin on Sam’s face.

“How the hell does Winston know? About us I mean” she gasped as soon as the man was out of earshot up the staircase. Lara only laughed at Sam and beckoned her along the vast hallway and past the marble staircase to the doors in the back leading out into the grounds.

“Sam he’s known ever since I brought you home from uni in our second year and we spent nearly the whole week either locked in my room or attached at the hip.” She laughed, remembering that week vividly “Besides, nothing gets past Winston”.

That week…They hadn’t been together long then, they had spent the majority of first year dancing around it but never acting on what they both knew was there. They were ‘just friends’ then. It was only at some point in second year that Lara had allowed Sam to drag her along to one of her awful parties on one of Sam’s enthusiastic promises of a fun night out ‘you’ll enjoy it Lara I promise!’ And in fact she had enjoyed it. Mainly due to Sam’s sudden but welcome declaration of her feelings for Lara on their way home. Being far too drunk and not the type to take advantage of that fact Lara only nodded and smiled (a little goofily) at the time. And maybe, just maybe, she didn’t protest too much when Sam clumsily kissed her goodnight.

Which was probably something she would have felt much guiltier about if Sam hadn’t confessed the next day that she hadn’t been as drunk as she pretended. Then there were confessions all round, from the both of them, and the rest came easier. And (usually) much soberer. 

“I suppose he’s got nothing on my mother though. Now that’s embarrassing” Sam chuckled darkly. True, her mother was rather…over the top. About everything. Lara usually put it down to the money and the being a model. And it went a ways to explaining Sam’s occasional over-excitement about things, usually clothes or cameras. Sam really was her mother and father’s daughter in every way. She had her mother’s penchant for expensive fashion and her father’s interest in the media.

“She wasn’t so bad. At least she only said we were adorable once or twice this time, that’s a record right?” True to form, Sam’s mother was a bit overly supportive of their relationship too. Which was sweet, really, but there was only so many times Lara could handle being called ‘adorable’ or ‘cute’ before it started to grate on her nerves a little.

“Ugh, still though. At least we don’t have to worry about your…” Sam trailed off quietly, realising what she had been about to say as she was saying it. The subject of Lara’s parents was still something of a sore spot even after the years they’d been missing. “Lara I didn’t mean-”

“I know, I know it’s fine” Lara said with a forced smile. Because she did worry about her parents, all the time. Not about what they’d think of her and Sam, she knew they would be supportive. No, she still wondered after all this time where they were, where had they gone? Are they even still alive? It was one of those subjects Lara tried hard not to dwell on for too long. A list of subjects that had only grown after leaving Yamatai. Now she could add Mathias and Alex and Grim and Roth to it too. Thinking about her father inevitably brought up the memories of Roth too. Of leaping, grasping for his hand on the S.S. Endurance and falling. Of seeing him again on the island, his leg torn up by the wolves. Of that hatchet flying towards him and lodging in his back, the lights leaving his eyes as she held him.

The memories seemed to overwhelm her all of a sudden and she must have gasped or made some noise because Sam stopped whatever she was saying and turned to her, the concern evident in her face.

“Lara sweetie? What’s wrong?” Sam stopped them in their tracks and reached out to grasp one of Lara’s arms. When Lara didn’t respond Sam shook her a little, her eyes desperately searching Lara’s for some sign of what was going on in there.

There were the flashbacks of Roth of course, but there were other memories there too, swimming around in her thoughts and fighting for dominance. The ones that won out and featured most prominently were the things she saw in her nightmares. The muzzle of a gun pressed up against the broken and bloody remains of the Russian’s shattered forehead. The fires in the mountain village raging hot and fierce all around her. She could almost still feel the heat. And of course the sick grin on Mathias’ face in the end in that long moment atop the monastery where he thought he’d won. Although that was before she’d put a bullet in him and sent his body hurtling to his death.

“Lara!” The sound of Sam’s concerned voice pulled Lara back to reality again. Belatedly she realised there were wet, hot tears running silently down her cheeks. For a moment she was horrified that she had lost her iron fisted control over her emotions. And then the image of Roth in his dying breath swam back to the front of her mind and assaulted her control smashing it to pieces. Then she was crying properly, sinking to her knees , clutching at Sam and her words coming out in a broken garbled mess.

All of the flashbacks and the nightmares and the horrible memories came out as she relinquished her hold on the dam that kept it all locked up tight in the back of her mind and sobbed into Sam’s shoulder. Sam only held her and whispered quiet reassurances into Lara’s hair, content for Lara to simply let it all out and listen.

Ever since leaving their island prison they’d had no real chance to talk, to really talk about all that had happened. First they were cooped up on a noisy, crowded ship with everyone else and after that there was rarely a moment alone together when staying with Sam’s parents. If it wasn’t Sam’s mother poking her nose in every five seconds to make sure they were okay then it was her father asking the two of them endless questions about their experiences. He of course wanted to get the exclusive first report on what happened on Yamatai being the one who put up most of the funds for the expedition in the first place.

By the time Lara’s tears had ceased to fall, the tear tracks drying on her cheeks, and she had exorcised every bad memory and haunting nightmare dusk was beginning to settle over the manor. Lara realised how long they must have been sitting out amidst the grass clutching at each other in the middle of the darkening grounds.

“Lara honey? We should really go inside, it’s getting dark” Sam murmured, stroking her fingers through Lara’s hair soothingly and pressing a soft kiss to her forehead “Winston will be wondering where we are”.

“Nah he probably thinks we’re still in bed” Lara muttered and chuckled darkly at Sam’s almost scandalised expression. She winced in pain as she got up, every bone in her body was still in protest after the hell she put them through.

Lara kept her eyes purposefully downcast as Sam rose to her feet beside her and they started back towards the manor. Lara was careful to look anywhere except Sam but Sam never was fooled too easily by Lara. She stopped abruptly, forcing Lara to face her.

“Lara look at me sweetie. You don’t have to be ashamed about that okay? You’re allowed to let it all out, you don’t always have to be the big hero alright? Especially with me. Stronger men and women would have been, and were, broken by that island. It’s okay to need some help” said Sam, pulling Lara towards her and looping her arms tightly around her waist. “And I imagine it’s going to take much more than that to really get it all out of your system. So stop fighting it okay?”

Lara sighed heavily and dipped her head to Sam’s, their foreheads touching lightly.

“Okay”


	4. Mourn

Roth's funeral was really something that Lara should have anticipated, but somehow the thought hadn't even crossed her mind until now. After a surprisingly pleasant night of virtually dreamless sleep and waking in her own room in her own bed with Sam in her arms it was by far the best morning Lara had seen for weeks. It was idyllic, almost perfect. Sam with bleary eyes and mussed up hair blinking at her with a goofy smile and the sun (for once) shining outside instead of the usual pouring of rain. Everything was good, it was right. And then Winston gave them the message at breakfast, the news of Roth's funeral the next day. With his words Lara could feel her good mood slipping right back down into the pit of her stomach again, so much for one good day. She really should have been expecting it though; of course his family would want to hold the ceremony as soon as they were back in England. Still, the thought was doing nothing to ease the sense of unease that had crept back in. 

Sam was glancing over at her every few seconds across the table, no doubt she was right back to being worried over Lara now. Especially after the episode in the garden the previous evening. Determined not to have another of those and appear to be stronger than she really felt Lara plastered a smile to her lips and looked up at Sam the next time she felt the girl's eyes resting on her. Not that it worked much mind, Sam, as always, was much better than Lara even realised at reading her girlfriend. Especially when she was hurting as she knew that she must be now.

"You are going aren't you sweetie?" Sam prodded gently.

Lara didn't answer for a moment instead thoroughly busying herself with spreading more marmalade on her toast and effectively ignoring Sam.

"Of course I am" she eventually answered shortly before abruptly busying herself with eating the toast, smothered in more marmalade than was really necessary.

Sam only sighed softly at Lara, at least she wasn't locking herself up and ignoring her entirely. There had been a while last night when she feared that Lara would do the same then. She had been so quiet and reluctant to talk after coming in from the grounds that Sam almost gave up getting her to actually participate in their entirely one-sided conversation. When they made for bed though she perked up some and obligingly followed Sam up to their room, proceeding to spend the rest of the night thoroughly convincing Sam that she hadn't lost her voice in any way. But Sam was obviously still worried that she'd freeze up again and ignore her or even worse, have another breakdown. Lara was determined to show Sam no reason to see weakness and kept up the same façade she'd been hiding behind all morning as they finished their breakfast.

***

The rest of the day passed in a similar way, Lara in mostly stoic silence and Sam doing her very best to engage her girlfriend in a conversation about anything and everything. It didn't work very well, Lara was more interested in cataloguing the few notes that had survived Yamatai and doing anything but talk. It was only when Sam broached the subject of the funeral the next day that she broke her self-imposed silence and snapped curtly at Sam. She apologised almost immediately and ducked her head ashamedly at the hurt Sam was trying to keep off her face.

Even knowing that none of this was Sam's fault and trying not to take it out on her, Lara couldn't help but be annoyed by the constant prodding. She'd thought of little else but the impending funeral all day. Even when she tried to engage herself in other matters, her notes and the reports of artefacts found on Yamatai, her thoughts always came back to Roth. And as much as Sam's intentions were purely to help Lara, it wasn't working.

"Sam I love you but just give it a break would you? We'll be at the funeral and it'll all be fine, but for now...just...leave it" Lara said finally, as gently as she could. 

There was no use in starting an argument over this, she'd never been able to keep an argument with Sam for very long. She could keep up giving her the cold shoulder for a while but eventually she broke. The memory of Sam forcing her into going dancing with Sam's friends from uni resurfaced suddenly, and with it the row that it had resulted in. Usually Lara didn't even bother trying to convince Sam to let her stay home, that tactic had stopped working on her a long time ago. But that particular night had been even more uncomfortable than usual. Feeling completely out of place amongst all of Sam's pretentious friends and after having to watch Sam shamelessly flirt with the third drunken man of the night she'd had enough and stormed out. For a whole three hours she had managed to keep giving her the cold shoulder but Sam eventually won her round and reminded her exactly why Sam was with Lara and not any of those drunken men from the club. Which fortunately, meant that Sam didn't take offence at Lara's snappy tone now. She of course knew that her girlfriend would come around eventually. And Sam would be right there when she did.

***

As far as funerals go Roth's was a nice one, not that Lara had much to compare it with. When her parents disappeared she steadfastly refused to even consider funerals for them, despite what everyone said, she knew that they were still alive somewhere. But Roth, he really was gone. He was given a proper military ceremony in honour of his time spent in the Royal Marines; it was in every way a send-off he would have been proud to see. There seemed to be a staggering number of people that turned out to pay their respects too, mostly more military types in sharp uniforms that Lara didn't recognise but there were thankfully a few familiar faces too. A rather well dressed Jonah greeted them when they arrived, seeing the man dressed up in a smart suit was a strange but welcome sight indeed. Reyes was there too with her daughter, their daughter, but Sam urged Lara to keep her distance for now. There'd been enough tension between Lara and Reyes back on the island, Roth's funeral probably wasn't the best place for it to rear its ugly head now. Lara spotted Captain Lyle James too amongst a group of equally grizzled looking men in marines dress uniforms.

The service itself went well, it was a fitting goodbye for the only father Lara had known these past few years and there were tears all round from Reyes, and her daughter, Sam, even Jonah shed a tear or two when Reyes made a short speech. Lara somehow sat the whole way through without breaking down. She could feel Sam's hand in hers the whole time, silently reassuring her. Keeping her grounded.

It was afterwards that was the hard part, being greeted and consoled by a whole host of people she didn’t know but all claimed to have known Roth well. They meant well but their apologetic smiles and pitying looks only made Lara feel worse, these people knew nothing. They knew nothing of what happened on the island and the things they went through together. Finally Lara spotted Jonah across the courtyard of the church and quickly excused herself from the elderly couple that had collared her claiming to be Roth's great aunt and uncle twice removed...or something. 

"Jonah! Wait!" Jonah looked up from where he stood beside an equally tall and imposing woman beside him with the same crinkled dark eyes and wide grin as Jonah himself.

"Lara! Here, I want you to meet my sister Isabella Maiava" he said and beamed as Lara held her hand out for Isabella before being pulled into a warm hug by the woman. Lara only smiled when she pulled back, the first genuine smile of the day.

"It's lovely to meet you Isabella but I wondered if I could have a word Jonah, in private?"

"Of course little bird, something you need?" he said seriously as they wandered away from the bulk of the crowds in the courtyard and towards the relative seclusion of a cluster of cherry blossoms a little ways from the church and shedding their flowers, painting the grass white.

"Sort of. I'm planning an expedition Jonah, and I’m going to need some help" said Lara, looking anywhere but at Jonah, she was sure he'd say no. Who was she kidding, if she was in his shoes, she'd say no too. "You don't have to say yes, I just want people that I trust, people I know can handle it and- ”

"Lara its fine, calm down. Against my better judgement I'd love to, I'd follow you anywhere you know that" he said, cutting her off and pulling her towards him into a hug, it seemed to be a Maiava family tradition. Jonah returned to his sister’s side and Lara lingered by the cherry blossoms, content to watch the people milling around instead. Sam was chatting with Alisha and Reyes, all traces of the tension from the island gone and replaced only with a sense of shared grief and loss. Looking around Lara noticed another of the guests headed her way and was ready to flee the scene to get away from him. It took another moment before she realised that the man was in fact Captain Lyle James with combed hair and a tidier beard. The smile was the same though, lined with the years but still soft and reassuring.

"Miss Croft, are you hiding?" he said teasingly when he reached her beneath the cherry trees.

"Hiding Captain? Wouldn't dream of it" she answered in the same tone, laughing lightly as he shook pink blossoms out of his hair like an overgrown puppy.

"Well if you insist Croft" he chuckled "I believe we have business to discuss anyway do we not?" 

"We do, are you still in?" she said, already fairly sure that his answer would be no different than the last. 

"I am. I presume you've nearly finished collecting a team?" he replied.

"Almost, we'll just need an engineer and someone to everything on film"

"To film? Well your girl Sam will do just fine with that won't she?" said Lyle, clearly confused.

"She would if she was coming with us yes, but she isn't. I...I can't risk it" Lara bit the last part out and glanced over at Sam guiltily. She knew that Sam would want to come and she was definitely going to kick up a fuss when she found out that Lara wanted her to stay in England. But there was no way, absolutely no way, that she was risking putting Sam in that kind of danger again. It was different for Lara to want to go gallivanting off into the more hazardous parts of the world, it was her life's ambition. Sam on the other hand, was a photography student, it had never been her wish to end up embroiled in the kind of thing they found on Yamatai.

"Very well, you'd best finish rounding up your people then Lara, I don't like staying on land for too long. My legs weren't made for it, I'm a man of the sea through and through" he rumbled in that raspy voice of his, the crinkled, fatherly smile back in place again before wandering back to the rest of the congregated groups.

Lara cast her gaze round at them all, those she knew and those she didn't before her eyes finally settled on Sam to find her looking right back at her. Reyes and Alisha had moved away and were now busy talking with the elderly couple that Lara herself had escaped from leaving Sam alone by the church. Her smile was soft and her gaze comforting, oh yes, it was going to be very painful indeed to tell Sam she wanted her to stay home.


End file.
